Your Daily Dose

In case you need a momentary break away, here are two blogs I like to visit periodically:

http://jerryandmartha.com/yourdailyart/ for your daily art &

http://www.duanekeiser.blogspot.com/ a painting a day

Not something I like each time--but it's a peaceful respite often, and on good days cause for innovation. I always learn something, too.

The Working Wall

(This was really the topic for the last post when I got off on my rant & rave about work!)
Creating is very much a process for me. Even though I have a fairly good image in 'my mind's eye' for any project, going from the ideal to the real is mostly an evolution. I'm always impressed by my friends & colleagues who have an entire project (sometimes a very complex and/or original one) planned down to every detail before actually starting the project beyond the paper. In that respect they also know exactly the resources they will need. There are aspects of that I envy but I really don't enjoy working that way.

I most often start with an image in my head that's been rumbling around for awhile & is not well thought out with an execution plan. Where the image comes from initally can vary greatly--and people often ask me that exact quesiton: where did you come up with that idea? (please note that where you put the emphasis in that sentence can remarkably change the message!) Good or bad--the initial idea never seems to be my limitation; get the can opener & look inside. There are a million in there waiting to jump out ("me next..."). It can be a composite of other art pieces I've seen, an amazingly lucky or exciting combination of color & texture that I want to experiment with, a message or 'statement' that I want to convey, a new technique that I want to master, whatever.

The true beauty in having the idea begin to come alive is that it does, in fact, come to life--at least for me. Compared to those that have the whole project plotted, drawn & measured out, I have a very loose drawing--sometimes only a few sketched lines to remind me of the idea--and then I just start. As the project begins to unfold & begin it's life, it begins to transform the original idea--taking you deeper into the possibilities & challenges with each step & decision along the way. Your initial impulse is to fight the new waves of ideas & possibilities ('that wasn't how I was thinking it would be'). But I'm finding that each time now I'm better prepared for the journey into & back out of a project: stay open to the options, don't be so restricted to the original 'picture' in my mind, listen to what is unfolding--not what was. In the end, the project is ALWAYS better for the variation & change that occurs if I stay open to it. It becomes something stronger than I ever envisioned & before I truly engaged in the process. ("yes, Grasshopper, your reed grows stronger when it bends in the wind rather than fighting to stand straight!")

The only way this 'loosen up and go with the flow' approach works is to have a way to watch your work unfold--a place you can come & go. Get some distance, get right into it. Take a break, have 'new eyes'. See what happens in daylight & dark. There are many changes, modifications, better ideas that float in along the way. There is a lot of musing involved. Others perceive that as idle staring or spacing out! I think of it more as a meditation or immersion. It also helps to have some faith in yourself to pull it all together in the end; will my technical skills fall short of my imagination? Can happen. That's part of the musing: OK--how do I get myself out of this one? There must be a finish--not just the beginning. That, then, is the 'working wall'--the harbinger of what is yet to be, as well as the reflection of what has already come to pass. I'll share glimpses of my current working walls from time to time. . . like these two today.

The Wailing Wall

Apologies for the gap in communication.
This has been a pretty stressful couple of weeks--reorg is in the air once again in my 'other' work world. I've been waiting since summer so not a surprise, but the extent of 'laying waste' with poor planning & bumbling execution has been particularly stunning this time. Not so concerned about myself--since 2002 I've truly internalized what being an 'at will' employee means. Maybe it's my death & dying background ('be ready anytime'). But the painfilled & senseless hack and slash for others I care alot about has been unexpected & sorrowful.
As yet, I've not heard or seen the rationale for this go-round: it most definitely is not a cost savings (supposedly responsible for at least 2 previous reorg's). From where I sit at the moment, it is more likely the dark-side creep which has been evident since 2001. Momentum has been increasing & this Princess Leah is predicting 2008 as the year of the final showdown--it will either move very quickly on the current path, or a course correction will begin. I'm making no bets as to which scenario prevails.
As with any poorly thought out & lamely executed change, the dust is far from settled; I've personally seen 5-6 draft org charts--certainly more that I've not been privy to. Hard to say where it all will go, but the end result will most certainly be a direction that I have increasing difficulty supporting. So on a personal level, it is with some relief that I find myself buried deeper into the org chart than I was 15 years ago, and with a (comfortably familiar) title that I've not had for 11 years. I have some close colleagues that are so valuable to the organization that have not known from day-to-day this week if they're 'here' or not, as their name keeps disappearing & reappearing in the schematic de jour. Great way to encourage people to continue giving their all.
I'm most definitely content to be as distant from this cluster-$%*@ as possible. Mostly using what little leverage I have left to advocate for others less able to speak for themselves (as well as being the heretic I've always been known to be--speaking the truth when others dare not). It's all so needlessly energy consuming, and a little like a near death experience: keep finding myself observing the fracus from a fairly unemotional, objective distance--I'm sure because I began disengaging in 2002 a little at a time, as I have grieved over each consecutive 'grave' of lost co-workers.
So stay tuned. For the moment, I'm still on the bus--with a significant decrease in responsibilities (can we all say 'more time!') I think because so far they don't quite know what else to do with me--or I with them. It's been a lucky coincidence that I had preplanned a 4 day wkend last week and a 3-day wkend this week--you can only handle so much day-time drama (it gets toxic). You can check the voicemail when you're ready for the next wave or leave it be. For now, back to the work of this blog...that's the extent of my keening; sorry for the divergence.